If I Let You Go (Acoustic Version) - Westlife
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Bad day...

Bad day...
****ing bad day...
Woke up late AGAIN today...
Haiz... Probably due to late night ytd...
Clare didnt wake me up...
Nvm la...
She's always tired recently...
Haiz...
Duno why oso...
Blame myself ba...
Not independent right?
Why must rely on others right?
Like forcing pple liddat...
Haiz...

Its been a long long time since i heard a cheerful and sweet good morning greeting...
Mebbe tt's y i have been getting off on the wrong side of the bed...
Haiz...
Like today...
Kicked the door...
Blady hell...
Got a big bruise...
And it bled...
Walked to the toilet dripping blood...
Faster showered and got things done...
Den fell down on the way to wear my shoe...
My notes flew everywhere...
And i got another bruise...
Haiz...
Headache...
Didnt reallie wana go work today...
But who gonna pei me?
Anybody gonna take care of me?
Gt class later somemore...
Haiz...
Bad start... Bad day...
Monday blues...
And thus... I m late for work...

At work...
Dozing off everywhere...
In the lift... Sitting down...
Even standing up too long oso doze off...
Even when i m peeing...
Haiz...
Probably i didnt doze off while walking...
Totally CMI...
Still gt class...
Sometimes i wonder if the pple who matter reallie cares...
I haven ate properly for quite sometime...
No appetite at all...
Duno how much slp i get per day only...
Duno wad is keeping me awake or alive...
Duno where my reserve energy is coming from...
I look in the mirror nowadays i dont even recognise myself...
I lost almost 4kg...
What have i become?
Nobody notices...
Haiz...

Reached home after sch...
Disappointed again...
Disappointed with life...
Disappointed with wadeva fate has brought me...
How much 勇气 must i put out in order to be the same again???
Haiz...

Juz wana say thanx to some frens who were there...
Who actually cared...
But the right person or persons have yet to show...
So wad's the point??
M i too ****ing demanding??
M i too ****ing obcessive??
M i too ****ing controlling??
M i ****ed up??
Mebbe i shld juz be more ****ing independent??
Mebbe i shld juz ****ing grow some balls and grow up...
Haiz...
I dont whether to be angry with myself...
Or angry at everything else...
I need a break from everything...
Life...
Work...
Studies...
I need my lighthouse by the sea...





















I need my glass of warm milk...
Haiz...

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Deep Thought - Disappointed - Lonely

Yesterday...
Cycled early morning to Telok Blangah Court to play bball with the guys...
Den cycled back...
After tt...
Didnt do anything else...
Stayed home and thought abt alot of things...
Read thru old blog posts... Testi...
Haiz...
Everything is gone...
Duno how to save anything anymore...

Today...
Supposed to play soccer at 8am...
Playing with some sec sch frens...
But couldnt wake up...
Totally knocked out...
Clare called me oso no use...
Oso cant wake up...
Duno wad's wrong with me la...
Sorry guys for not joining in...

So met up with Clare in the morning at PS...
Watched 2 movies...
"Chocolate" and "Indiana Jones"
Apparantly...
Clare was bored...
Didnt reallie like Indiana Jones...
Oso nv say anything...
Chocolate was quite nice ba...
Action lor...
Fighting... Muay Thai...
I wana go learn...
Have to urge to whack a punching bag...

After tt went Kovan to get some files...
Den went to Clare's hse for bbq dinner...
Watched tv...
Den played with Sunshine awhile...
I duno if it is me...
But i tink dogs have a acute sixth sense...
Sunshine gave me a look as if he knew smthing is wrong...
Haiz...
Even a dog knows...
At least he calm me down a little...
Haiz...
A good companion...
I miss him...

At the end of the day...
It ended like any other weekend...
Same as the past few weeks...
I reallie dont want to complain anymore...
I reallie dont want to say anything anymore...
But i cant!
Haiz...
Things keep happening...
I still feel the same...
But its not about wad i want or anything...
Its about wad we need...
Some things need to be done...
Haiz...
Disappointed...
I guess nobody knows wad i m tinking right now...
Mebbe except Sunshine...
His piercing green eyes...
Haiz...
I miss Sunshine...
Mebbe i juz need a companion...
Afterall... Mebbe i m juz lonely...
Mebbe i juz need attention...
Haiz...

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